Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Oprah's Last Show: Terrorist Makeover

CHICAGO | by Erica Bazoombas - Speculation has swirled for weeks about who would be the guest on Oprah Winfrey's final show, which airs today. Super secrecy and heavy security have surrounded the taping of the ultimate episode, but SPN was able to get inside the studio and report on the spectacular show. 

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was flown to Chicago and appeared on Oprah's most amazing "makeover" show ever, as the grisly goon was  transformed from a ragged, malodorous crudbag to what Oprah described as "one cool ass, debonair towel-head!"

The metamorphosed maniac will reportedly attend several high-society parties while staying in the Windy City, and has been invited to a 4th of July picnic at the Mayor's house, unless his execution precedes the outing. 

Most of the expenses for the amazing transformation were picked up by the U.S. Justice Department, but several corporations donated services. Orkin provided delousing for the mass murderer, and a Supercuts stylist used a Poulan weed-eater to hack off his mangy mane. Bed, Bath and Beyond donated a tablecloth to crown the criminal's corrupt cranium.

Eager to model his new coif and duds, Khalil and a few close friends dined at Charlie Trotter's, then partied until dawn at exclusive Klub Kaboom!

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