Desperate For Cash Tiger to Add 2nd Sport: NASCAR

Tiger Wood's pit crew chief
Lisa Lugnut is said to be quite loose.

(Daytona Beach, Fl.) - by Robert Feeley - SPN Headlines - With his golf game in the crapper, Tiger Woods said this morning he will race in NASCAR to earn extra cash. The philandering cad also said he plans to eclipse Bo Jackson, considered the most prolific two-sport athlete in history. 

Woods' crew chief said she has added rocket engines to a specially designed Buick Park Avenue which will reportedly reach speeds over 600 mph, exceeding the sound barrier.

Woods said he has been honing his skills behind the wheel by racing around his neighborhood in Orlando, Florida. "I'm way better than I was when I hit that tree in '09, but at 600 miles per hour I admit I am having a few oopsies," he said. Sponsors for his car include Geico Insurance, Spike TV's 1000 Ways to Die, and Forest Lawn Cemetery.