Friday, November 15, 2013

ObamaCare: Doctors Will "Tweet" Patients

Dr. Ben Dover
WASHINGTON, D.C. | by Robert Feeley - As details of President Obama's health care plan emerge, there is one major change that will influence the way doctors and their patients interact. Instead of traditional office visits, the plan calls for physicians to "Tweet" people when they are ill.   

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Ben Dover explained the process at a press conference this morning and outlined a typical doctor-patient "Twitter visit" in the near future. Patient: "Doctor Blotz! I have blood coming out of my eyes, my legs are paralyzed, and my fever is 120. Please help me!" Doctor Blotz: "You ingrate, I am trying to play golf! I'll have my nurse Tweet Walgreen's with a prescription for medical marijuana." Patient: "Awesome, dude! Thank goodness for ObamaCare." Dr. Blotz: "Fore!"

"Now, wasn't that simple?" asked Dover, the supreme sawbones for Obama's new socialist state. "With any luck the majority of Americans will be so totally baked they will forget about their trivial illnesses and get in line with the President's agenda."

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