(MIAMI BEACH, Fl.) - by Robert Feeley - Last year, Rep. Joe Baca (D-Calif.) introduced a measure to give the Congressional Gold Medal – the highest civilian award that Congress can bestow – to Tiger Woods for outstanding sportsmanship. But Baca said he has now abandoned the effort, blaming recent events surrounding the private life of golf's heartbreaking whorehound.
And while Barack Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize last December, news broke today that Derriere Magazine will bestow its highest honor, the Piece of Ass Award of Distinction to Woods for "outstanding accomplishments in the field of poontang prowess."
Derriere publisher Kevin Keister made the announcement at the magazine's headquarters in Miami Beach saying, "This guy has seen more first-class fanny than a perverted proctologist on Prozac, and he deserves this highly regarded accolade." Five-time Piece Prize winner Bill Clinton will present Woods with the award in a ceremony next month at the Booby Trap Gentlemen's Club in Pompano Beach, Florida. Clinton told SPN, "Lemme tell you, I'll take a nice piece of tail over world peace all day long."
I think I could handle a "Piece" Prize. Maybe someday I will get one. Hopefully it is not all dolled out by then. ;)
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