|Ereccion at Press Conference|
MIAMI | by Robert Feeley - With his eminence as golf's number one player long gone, many advertising industry experts accurately predicted that major corporations would soon discharge Tiger Woods, and the skirt chasing swinger has been losing endorsements like a blind golfer loses balls. His skills have suffered as well as he has dropped like a deuce from golf's top player list.
But there was good news for the libertine lothario of the links this morning when the Puerto Rico-based beverage company Casanova Cola announced that Woods will represent their new line of energy drinks in a deal said to be worth "several hundred dollars."
|Casanova Cola drinker|
Casanova CEO Enrique Ereccion spoke during a news conference at the Bon Soir Airport Motel saying, "Tiger is the perfect model of a man who drinks Casanova Cola to endow his libido for an evening of lust, rapture and conquest. And perhaps play golf the next day if he can get out of bed."
Ereccion said the new line of drinks will be offered in 2 styles. Boner Bold will be infused with Viagra, caffeine and other ingredients he would not specify, as there was a police officer standing nearby. A sugar-free version, Diet Don Juan is for "pantywaist pansies who play with themselves and live at home with their mommies."