Dallas, Tx. | by Erica Bazoombas - With the Occupy Wall Street losing momentum due to cold weather, rotten food and a lack of liquor, anarchists will attempt to re-locate today to the greatest bastions of American wealth and opulence: NFL stadium luxury skyboxes. Chief instigator for the occupy movement, Leon Loafer told reporters that he and his hellions will crash the gates of every NFL stadium and occupy the inner sanctums of snobby sports fans "for as long as it takes...or until the lobster and champagne run out. Then we'll go annoy someone else."
The move promises to set up a nasty confrontation with at least one team owner, the Dallas Cowboy's Jerry Jones. "You come into my stadium without a ticket, and you'll be limping home with a cowboy boot jammed up your ass," Jones told SPN Headlines. To prove he was serious, Jones had 20,000 pairs of Gucci snakeskin cowboy boots delivered to Texas Stadium yesterday afternoon. Many protesters were said to be en route to the big D, hoping to garner at least one of the garish galoshes.