Sarasota, Fl. | by Erica Bazoombas - Actor Paul Reubens, better known as the quirky and queer character Pee Wee Herman, rocked the political scene today when he announced that he has been legally married to Republican candidate Herman Cain for over 20 years. Reubens spoke to reporters in front of the Blowjob Bijou adult theater, the site of his 1991 arrest for indecent exposure.
Reubens wept as he recalled meeting his "cocoa cupcake" in the theater while watching the premiere of Butt Buddies from Buffalo. "We were so happy" Pee Wee whimpered, supported by his attorney Myron Mung. Mr. Mung produced a blurred photocopy of a marriage license as proof of the cockamamie coalescence. "My client even took on the Herman name," muttered the mendacious mouthpiece.
Cain appeared briefly at the press conference, shouting to Reubens, "You're a dirty liar!" Pee Wee pushed his attorney aside and replied "I know you are......but what am I?"